August 2012
me anywhere i go: i hope i don't see anyone i know
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
July 2012
annoying person: you need anger management classes
me: you need shut the fuck up classes
me: i love food
me:
me:
stomach: i know you do
